Anxiety and Me

It is Mental Health week in Western Australia and I want to take this opportunity to speak about my personal experiences with anxiety.

I really want to help break down the stigma that is associated with mental health issues and I think the best way of doing that is to speak openly and honestly about it.

I was thinking about this last night about what dealing with anxiety means to me, what affect it has on my day to day life and how I might describe it to someone else. I tend not to focus too much on these details normally as I would rather focus my thoughts on more positive aspects of my life. Anyway this is what I came up with.

Anxiety does not affect me on an everyday basis. Some days I am completely anxiety free and I am the happiest person you could meet and other days, with no advance warning, it hits me like a bolt of lightning. There is usually neither rhyme nor reason as to why my anxiety rears its ugly head and I usually don’t get advance notice.

During periods of high anxiety I feel like I cannot breath, I feel like my body is expanding and my clothes don’t fit. I cannot concentrate on what people are saying to me, I find it difficult to maintain eye contact and I am acutely aware of every breath I take, word I speak and movement I make. This could last ten minutes or ten hours, but the important thing to remember is it will end.

On these days I am the girl who will cancel plans at the last minute, I am the girl who would rather stay indoors all day doing anything else other than seeing other people, I am the girl who cannot decide what to eat and I am the girl who lies awake until the early hours of the morning unable to get comfortable because of the tightness of my chest and the racing thoughts in my mind.

However, I do not let this define me. These are periods of time that come in short bursts and like you would if you had the flu I have to look after myself during these times until I feel better. It is important to me to remember just because I am that girl sometimes I am not only that girl.

I am (the majority of the time) the girl who loves to laugh and joke, I am the girl who loves to spend time with my friends, I am the girl who smiles and says hello to strangers, I am the girls who loves to get dressed up and go out for dinner and drinks, I am the girl who will put a positive spin on things, I am the girl who will do anything to help you.

I am not ashamed or embarrassed in any way that I suffer from anxiety and I want others to feel the same. I want you to know are not alone, I know how you feel and I encourage you to fight. Fight for the great days that are ahead and be gentle to yourself on the days where anxiety comes to visit.

If you are feeling overwhelmed please talk to a friend, family member or your local GP or mental health practitioner. You matter, your feelings matter and you are absolutely not alone in this